Two roads, one decade: All about our 20s!

Our 20s are often described as the most exhilarating decade — a time for self-discovery, adventure, and forging lifelong friendships. But what’s not explicit to everyone is how significantly the starting point impacts your journey. This romanticizing notion hides an unspoken divide, fostered by financial realities we’re born into. For some, it’s a decade of freedom and indulgence; for others, it’s a period of hustling, saving money, quietly building a future they’ve always wanted, and often feeling like a spectator in a world of unlimited possibilities. While these two roads may cross in the form of friendships, deep down, the travellers are well aware of their realities, leading to an unintentional divide.

The unspoken and unintentional divide

Imagine 2 friends in their early 20s — one comes from a middle/low-income background, and the other from a wealthy family. They’re good friends; they hang out very often, laugh at the same jokes, and have similar dreams of what a great life could look like. But when it comes to turning them into reality — taking spontaneous international trips, dining at Michelin-star restaurants frequently, or even just splurging on their hobbies — the divide becomes apparent after a while. Over time, this creates subtle but noticeable differences. There’s a quiet loneliness behind “I’ll pass.” not because you don’t want to, but probably because your wallet dictates your social life.

They build their social groups — one making memories by going on spontaneous adventures now and then, while the other finding pleasure elsewhere. It's obvious that it is unintentional — no one sets out to exclude their friends without any reason, but the realities shape social lives in ways that are hard to ignore.

The grit that comes with struggle

But here’s where the story takes an interesting turn.

Those who grow up counting every penny, working through multiple jobs, and focusing on building their future, their hustle in the 20s rewards them with the quality that’s hard to nurture by being in the comfort zone — resilience. They learn about financial discipline the hard way — through multiple instances of “I’ll pass”, missed opportunities, and the drive to create a different future. Furthermore, they develop a sense of responsibility for their actions, gratitude for small joys, and an appreciation for the satisfaction that stems from sheer hard work instead of enjoying things served to them on a silver platter.

While they see their peers enjoying a luxurious lifestyle early on, these individuals often spend their time working and climbing towards stability. They learn to appreciate the value of money in a way that others probably can’t. By the early or mid-30s, this gap starts to close. The same individual who once declined an invitation to a trip to Europe is now having fun at a beach in Spain without worrying about anything else at the moment. The struggles that they endured early on shaped their perspective towards life and, finally, the ability to say “yes” after years of saying “no” is an incredibly liberating feeling.

Different trajectories: Growth on both sides

This doesn’t imply that those born with a silver spoon in their mouths don’t have to struggle ever. Their trajectory is simply different — perhaps one of finding the purpose of their lives, looking for meaning beyond material comfort, or managing the weight of expectations. Some may feel the pressure of living up to their family’s desires or the tussle of carving out their identities in the shadow of generational wealth.

Their crisis might not be financial but existential — figuring out who they are beyond the privileges and bank balance that they’ve grown up with. Some feel guilt, some feel trapped by expectations, and others seek to prove to the world that they haven’t had it easy. Growth happens for everyone, but the paths don’t necessarily look the same.

The beauty of perspective: Bridging the gap

So how can we navigate friendships across this divide? It will come from the realization that life happens differently to everyone. If you’re someone with more resources, maybe you can be mindful of your choices so that you don’t exclude others unintentionally. If you’re on the other side of the equation, try not to let comparison steal your joy; everyone’s journey is unique and will pay off in ways that you can’t imagine.

The way I see it, our 20s are a lesson in perspective. Some get to experience pleasure early on, while others learn the art of delayed gratification. But time has an interesting way of making the field even for everyone. Those who struggle early in their lives develop an appreciation for their accomplishments and yearn for that feeling throughout their lives. The other strata of society realize that fulfillment isn't about material wealth but about purpose and meaning.

But you see, that’s what our 20s are really about: learning that there’s no single “right” way to grow up and that our differences don’t divide us — they can deepen our understanding of each other and ourselves.

Personally, I’d always prefer going through the struggle early on so that I can find the true meaning behind things beyond their face value. Sure, nobody likes being in an uncomfortable position, but we fail to realize that carbon atoms turn into diamonds under intense heat and pressure, or in other words, adversity results in transformation. As Jensen Huang said,

“Resilience matters in success. Pain and suffering build character.”

Thank you for your time, and I hope you liked this blog. As always, any suggestions are welcome. Cheers!